Reorienting the Self through breathwork

Standing at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn as cars barrel down Van Ness Avenue, my body feels at ease — for the first time in a long time.

For so many years I’ve felt like I’m in this contstant state of vigilance. An underlying tension, barely perceptible, but obvious enough for me to know that something is off.

A lot of this tension has been driven by my overactive, negative mind. Racing thoughts. What-ifs. What if things don’t work out? What and where is my path? What am I even doing here?

My entire being has begun to shift, ever since starting a regular morning breathwork practice three weeks ago.

It’s one of the most difficult internal shifts to put into words. There’s a deep sense that energy is moving. My mind is altering and shifting in ways I only thought were possible by doing mind-centric work.

The only visual I can summon for this experience is the shifting of multiple gears, or a complex puzzle where the pieces move in unexpected ways.

I think of the description of miracles in relation to forgiveness in A Course in Miracles: “…an interlocking chain.”

Every day, with every inhale and every exhale, my mind is reorienting, sifting through the muck, and working through issues I’ve spent years in therapy trying to address.

What’s mystifying is I don’t even know exactly what issues the breathwork is resolving, but I deeply feel resolution, awakening, healing happening in every cell and corner of my Spirit.

I’ve dabbled in meditation in the past, using the breath as anchor or focal point. But I’ve never breathed as deeply and consistently for this length of time.

Even in this short window of breathwork I’ve done, I’m amazed by the impact of what purposeful inhales and exhales can do.